Its been quite sometime since I wrote now. And the truth is there hasn’t been much to write in my personal life, and what has been happening in my professional life, I cannot write.
But this incident I have to write. Its been almost 6 months now in this school, by now, been it a private institute people would have passed out and started looking for a job, but no I have sold my soul to the devil. So all these months have been filled with humiliation of all sorts which I will not really mention about. And I have been so busy and tired, that finally today I got the time to feel bad about it.
So this morning, as usual I reached the school bang on time, carried out some routine work and then all of us(Pilots from the previous batch, the army , bsf and the coastguard batch) were asked to assemble in the crew room, and I was the only one in my batch, the girl who had joined with me was on leave most of the time!! So I felt like the, “odd man out”. We all assembled, as per the orders and people were discussing various things among themselves, some of the topics included, jobs in the market, hangover from the party they had yesterday, finding a new home on rent etc, and I was sitting there almost invisible to all these people. In all of these 6 months I had made friends with nobody and none of them liked me either, and I don’t know the reason why, I wondered, “is it because I’m too silent?”, “Is it because I took up a place in school which one of their friends had to? well that cannot be fault as I passes the exam and he didn’t !!”, well I even thought, “Is it because initially I was given the option of staying with them, but I decided not to?”, well it can be all of the above.
In sometime, the instructor rushed in, and he started off by saying, “none of you are going to fly for some time to come”, I thought to myself, “This guy is talking as if we are flying day in and day out, bullshit!!”. And then he continued, “The reason is, we are out of maintenance staff”, there was alot of disappointment in the air. Out of nowhere, I decided to raise my hand, he said, “what is it?”, I said, “Well, Sir then when will things get sorted out??” People were shocked to see me question the instructor!!. He asked in a loud tone,”Well who the hell are you?? I haven’t seen you before!!” , well this confirms my invisibility!!, I replied, “my name is Sanjith, I joined 6 months ago and I have attended many classes of yours”.Now the instructor was furious, I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to reply to the who are you question!!
He angrily said, “So your the new fish!! and I’m going to fry a fish today”, he carried on, “So sanjith, if I should give you an answer, you should answer my questions too”, to which I gave my overused answer, “Yes sir!!”. He then carried on to ask me a series of questions into aerodynamics, regulations, meteorology etc. I was basically proved a fool who didn’t know anything but wanted to fly!! I could see people laugh at me, and the laughing was encouraged by the instructor too. Well, I can say I was verbally raped this morning. Finally before exiting the room, “From now on all of you will call him, Flying bomb or even better a flying bum!!”. I stood there, listening to all this, seeing people laugh and crack jokes at me, and not an expression changed on my face. I wasn’t taught or trained by my parents to cry or show emotions.
I knew from now on life is just going to be harder than the last 6 months. So the rest of the day passed as per schedule, but not making eye contact with anybody. Now I’m lying down here, on my bed writing this, thinking how will I go back to the hangar tomorrow!! People are surely going to make fun of me, and theres no-one I can about this to. Dony and Alwyn both are in Kerala. Shall I take an off tomorrow? But how long can I keep running?? well “The flying bomb” ha, at least it includes flying in it!!
Anyway I will go and face it tomorrow, these difficulties will just turn me into a stronger person and also a stronger pilot!!