So, I’m pretty upset today, sitting alone in this dark shabby messy room, accompanied by 2 other older weird guys I don’t even know, and I don’t know why the whole place smells like fried fish all the time!! I used to like fried fish!!
I do not like to remember this again but let me describe what happened today. My fear since a few days, that has been weighing my heart down finally happened. My father went back to Mumbai. Left here all alone. The only light I see when I sit in this dark room is flying!!. I cannot still believe that I’m going to fly really soon.
The departing- All alone
So let me describe the parting with my father, it was around 6pm today, we were on a busy noisy street, and there was a heavy traffic jam too, he had a black bag slung around his shoulder, and my father with a smile said, “Do well”, we shook hands and then he turned around and walked, and I stood there for a while looking at him go.
As I stood there, I asked myself, what if I had been closer to my family??, would this parting be any different? I mean it’s one of the most difficult situations in my life and it ends with a “Do well”!!. I felt my heart sinking and weighed down by grief, I’m going to be all alone. You know people say, you realize a person’s value after he/she is gone, and now when I’m away from my family, I realize their value. I stood there till he vanished into the crowd and still looking for him. I turned around and started walking back to my room, totally blank and filled with grief.
Reached the room to see my roommate playing PS in the dark engulfed in smoke, I don’t know why these people dont let me turn on the lights even when it is dark. It is so suffocating. I felt so tired and drained, I laid down on my bed, looking at the dark roof occasionally lit by the TV and then just to pas some time and lift up my mood, i started typing all this on my phone and does it make me feel better, No, but I have nobody to talk to anyway so it makes me feel a bit more secure, maybe? Anyway I’m off to sleep, I’m hoping that, time will make me a stronger and better person!!
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